When Hope is Hard
All of us have times in our lives that make us feel so uncertain — maybe due to a global pandemic, a contested presidential election, divorce or illness — that it’s a struggle to hold onto hope.
Feeling like everything is out of your control but still wishing for stability and better times ahead can make us feel even more vulnerable, maybe even burdened. We don’t want to set ourselves up for disappointment, and so it can feel safer to expect and prepare for the worst.
In this way, hope can feel like a challenge, but it is actually the way out of this state. Hope is what makes us resilient, what gives us the spark of energy we need to keep going. As things progress, what we hope for can change, and that’s why hope can still be there, still fueling us, as things take their time to work out.
Many of the people who come to me for readings and healings are experiencing transitions or events that have pushed them out of balance and to the brink of hopelessness. As a trained healer who’s also lived times like this, I recommend they start with small, practical methods to move out of the feelings that are keeping them down.
So here are 5 easy ways to break through times of stress and anxiety and reset:
Review your most basic needs. If you are worried about having access to resources in the future, take a second to close your eyes and ask yourself, ‘Are my most basic needs — food, water, shelter — being met right now?’
Unless you are experiencing a severe crisis, in most cases, they are being met. You can use that as evidence for why you should trust that your needs will continue to be met in the days, weeks and months ahead.
This also reinforces the idea that the present moment is what matters most. Keeping yourself in the present moment — and not catastrophizing the future — is powerful.
Mindfully sip. Speaking of basic needs, every process in your body requires water. Water is a comfort to your body. So get some water — for this purpose, my preference is hot water with a little bit of honey — and find a quiet place you can sit for a few minutes. Take slow, deliberate sips, focusing on the rhythm and the feeling of each sip being absorbed into your body. This returns and keeps you in the present moment. It’s a deliberate exercise that centers and grounds you, so it’s also a kind of active meditation that takes your mind off your worries and helps you reset.
Go for a walk. It might seem too simple, but it works. Walking or moving gently in some way creates a lot of circulation — blood in your arteries, veins and muscles; air in your lungs; and energy in your field. Moving can push out the heavy energy of stress and anxiety and make room for the lighter energy of hope.
If you can go out in a place of nature, even better. The oxygen rich air also can invigorate your mind and uplift your mood.
Punctuate your schedule with simple pleasures. If the week ahead feels like drudgery, consider purposefully including a few simple pleasures. Perhaps you sign up for a workshop at the art studio you’ve been eyeing, agree to a coffee break with a friend who makes you laugh, or plant something new in your garden.
Happy distractions from stressors remind us that we have lives outside of those stressors, that we can still do things that make us feel alive and well. And when we put our minds and energy on something else, it can put everything else into perspective.
Choose softer words. The words you use to speak about your situation — either in your own mind or to others — can paint the picture, for the better or the worse. Your words can influence you and your subconscious, which influences how you perceive your life.
It can be a challenge, but using softer language can lighten the heaviness you are feeling over time. For example, replace “hate” with “dislike,” “repulsive” with “unpleasant,” “worried” with “concerned.” Even small increments of making your language softer and lighter can make a huge difference.
It’s important to remember that you are allowed to take your time. This is your journey, and when you are ready, you’ll find the right steps for you. If and when you’re up to it, try out some of these methods, maybe all of them, to ease your way back to the path of hope.