When You are Healing, Change is Inevitable
When I started on my healing journey, I did not expect my life to change — I expected the way I felt about my life to change. I had no idea that as I experienced profound healing, I also would experience profound upheaval of every aspect of my life — including my career, relationship and home. My entire foundation shook and crumbled, and it made me fearful and anxious.
Many years later, living a whole different life that has me at peace and fulfilled, I realized that during that transition, I should have been excited. My life was breaking down to be rebuilt better. Everything was changing to keep up with and match my healing. I was growing into a life more aligned with who I truly am, my true self.
And it could be the same for you. If you are doing the work and healing yourself, the changes you are experiencing are likely positive, transitioning you into a life more aligned with your true self. So instead of trying to cling to what’s familiar, try leaning into the unknown by shifting your perspective.
Here are four ways to rethink — so you can welcome — change:
Think of change as clearing space. Change often feels like loss. Losing what is familiar — especially when you’ve built your life and identity around it — can be scary because you’re not sure what’s next, what is going to fill that void, if anything at all. But instead of fearing that change is taking away what you know and are used to, think of it as removing what no longer serves you, what is no longer good for you. As if smudging your life, change removes the positions, relationships and routines that no longer belong to you, are no longer a match for you, for the person you are becoming. Change clears space for what is more aligned with the more healed version of you.
Think of change as a stepping stone. Unexpected change can force you to make moves — like quick steps from stone to stone across a stream — that you would not have made on solid ground. Maybe you were laid off, so you picked up some part-time work in another industry. Maybe your landlord decided to sell, so you moved in with a roommate. Those moves might not be what you want, so they can feel like settling. Settling never feels good, but it might be necessary — and for good reason. Maybe you’re meant to develop a new skill or make a new friend. You might not realize this was the case until you reflect years later, but in the meantime, you can be sure that the universe is holding your hand and guiding your feet as you take steps toward living the life you are meant to live.
Think of change as movement. Sometimes it takes feeling absolutely stuck in a life you no longer want to live to decide it’s time to begin your healing journey. With healing, comes change. Change is movement, movement in a positive direction, if you are doing the work. It’s getting unstuck and more aligned with what is better for you. Change is also like a personal trainer, making you stretch and strengthen your coping skills, your resiliency. As you become more flexible, you will be able to meet more change with open arms. You will stand strong in your knowing that change means getting closer to the realization of your true self.
Think of change as a mystic. Change can provide very deep and comprehensive insights into who you really are. When it shakes your foundation and makes you question what might not belong to you — your childhood programming, limiting beliefs, unnecessary labels — it can bring you to the point where you have to choose: your mask or what’s true. In this way, change helps you learn and know yourself — including the places where you still need healing. Even when you are well on your healing journey, you might not be aware of all the wounds change will uncover, and it’s not until change reveals them that you can address them. More healing means more change, and more change means more alignment with your true self and the life you are supposed to be living.
When you are healing, change is inevitable. But it doesn’t have to induce fear or anxiety. You can welcome and embrace change by rethinking it. If you can shift your perspective, you can be excited — as you should be, you’ve earned it! — for a life that your healing is attracting and building for you. Change brings you into what is more aligned with your true self — and that is a pretty amazing gift.